A msg 4 u
By Kelli Calabrese
Last week I received my Verizon bill for our cell service and in doing some quick math realized I am paying 5K a year for 3 cell phones. I called a rep from Verizon to inquire about the charges. As it winds up, my husband talks for about 3500 minutes a month, does very little texting and receives a small amount of e-mails. I engage in less than 200 minutes of talking in a month, zero texting and about 9,000 e-mails a month. Our house manager who has the third phone receives few e-mails, engages in moderate talking and sends and receives over 1,800 texts a month! Needless to say I was not able to get our bill down!
Its mind blowing to think that 20 years ago cell phones were a rare luxury, e-mailing was for technology engineers and texting did not exist. It’s hard to believe there was a time before texting when today you see 7 year olds walking around schools with their fingers nimbly writing messages before they can barely spell. 6 year olds are asking for itouches. You’re a lame teen if you don’t have an iPad and you would be just about the last person in America if you did not have access to a cell phone or e-mail.
Last night my son was playing baseball in Texas. The woman in the stands sitting next to me was taking live streaming video from her HG phone and sending it to my husband who was watching the live streaming video while having dinner at the W Hotel in Chicago. If he was not available to watch it live, no worries, he could download it later. On a recent plane trip I could not help but notice how passengers pick up their phones to text each time an announcement is made. Do we really need the play by play of the take off and landing?
We have become obsessed with using technology to communicate. People today are faced with a whole new culture of communicating. I believe we are over communicated to, but in a non-personal way. It’s like a skinny fat person or an overweight malnourished child. It’s an oxymoron. The minute someone does not respond to our various attempts at communication we instantly conclude there’s been an accident and we frantically use every method to make contact including skyping and IMing!
Texting and e-mail have become the norm and have allowed us to hide behind our responsibility and at times to act unethically. Kids and adults can hide in the anonymity of text messages and social networks with no perspective on consequences and choices. It’s even gone to the extreme of teens committing suicide over inappropriate messages that circulate around schools.
Technology has bombarded us to be better, bigger, faster, stronger and sexier. At the risk of sounding like my father, I long for the old days. In fact I see them as opportunity for those of us looking to be extraordinary! Just this morning I ran into Target to pick something up and there was a greeter at the door. He looked me right in the eye, smiled warmly, tilted his head, said gave me a heart felt “good morning” and bid me to have a great day. That made an impression on me. In an instant I can recall our eyes meeting, the image of his smile and kindness in his tone. A positive emotion is evoked any time I recall the moment. Receiving a text that says “mrng” does not quite have the same impact.
I am not saying that there is not an important place for a quick text communication or to conveniently send a document by e-mail, however there are definitely times when face to face communication is priceless and can make the difference between things going well and an ugly law suit. Emotion can be lost or misinterpreted in the typed word. It simply does not have the same impact as picking up the phone, writing a letter with a pen on stationary or the best scenario which would be an in person conversation.
A few minutes on the phone could save a tremendous amount of time, energy and effort and prove a much better outcome. It shows better character than e-mail or texting, it gives you the opportunity to strengthen a relationship, stand on your word, give a compelling position and make a greater impression.
Personally I have come to prefer e-mail. I can e-mail at any time of the day or night, regardless of time zone, its documented, I communicate well in writing, I can provide links, in type very fast, its immediate when a thought enters my brain, I can access it instantly from my phone no matter where in the world I am, and there is no small talk or distractions. I could argue many reasons to use e-mail. The truth is that picking up the phone has so much impact.
When I pick up the phone to call someone, they almost always will respond in a surprised voice that I made the time to get on the phone with them. It was unexpected and they value the time. They are appreciative, usually give a testimonial and I can guide them based on what I can learn about them through the phone. The phone is not intimidating; you can read their feedback, provide more details, ask more questions and move quicker to resolving any issues or making any sales.
As you can imagine, engaging all of the senses with an in person human connection would always be the most effective way to capture and influence someone. To do that you need to go beyond the phone to engage all of the senses. A hand shake, eye contact, a smile, a nod, a hug, pat on the back can only be done in person.
Phil mentions on his Max 10 list that he makes some human contact daily. It may be on the phone or in person. He may call a long lost friend, reach out for someone who has been coming to mind or have lunch with someone who he cares about.
Growing up in New York, the first born child with a driven type A personality, I can tell you that taking the time to interact with people is work for me. I am very protective of my time and you might even say stingy with it. I can tell you that recently I have loosened up on spending my time face to face meeting new people, with neighbors, friends, strangers and prospects. I have not regretted a single minute of it. Personal contact may be natural to you – like it is for my husband (you can probably tell by the 3,500+ minutes he spends on the phone a month). If its not, I’m going to encourage you to go to our most foundational basic principal of speaking to 5 people a day.
Don’t text 5 people a day, or IM them or send them a link to your You Tube Channel. Don’t even send them a text, e-mail, skype or live streaming video. Get in front of them. I promise you will make the impression of a lifetime. You will be the bright shiny thing they remember when the time comes to buy a membership, hire a trainer, join a boot camp, speak at a conference, join a dinner, be honored, participate in the interview, host the show, edit the magazine, write the story, join the party or simply have some quality time with some quality people.
Make no mistake; we are human beings who enjoy being together in fellowship. I urge you to get out from behind your dialing, texting and typing fingers and fully engage yourself in personal communication.