Are You Operating by The Law of Accidents?
By Kelli Calabrese
No one plans to have an accident. There are circumstances where you truly are in the wrong place at the wrong time such as the middle of an intersection when a drunk driver falls asleep behind the wheel, runs the red light and broad sides you. You might call that bad luck or bad timing. You could say the same for the victims of the world trade center bombing. Life does contain random unfortunate occurrences and things can just happen by accident and beyond our control.
But that’s not what the law of accident is about. This law is really a psychological principle that people accept as truth believing that things in life happen outside of their thinking and acting, that they are helpless to circumstances such as a bad landlord, faulty exercise equipment, unfaithful clients, deceitful employees, or a sinking economy. Some trainers appear to be accident magnets.
No one plans to deliberately fail. No one decides in advance to live a life of underachievement and frustration, but many find themselves stuck and living unconsciously and unintentionally under the law of accidents. If you live by this principle you feel as if things happen to you, they are random and you have little control over them. How could you have known that employee would take all of your clients and go down the street? How could you have known a big box state of the art fitness center was going to open up next door? How could you have known that the minute you invested in your fitness studio management software a better one would be released for half the price?
People who live by this law say things like, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.”, “You have to be in the right place at the right time.” It’s not what you know it’s who you know.” Do you know anyone like this? Or maybe you are personally relating.
Living by the law of accidents leads you to live as if things are beyond your control. A majority of people live this way. One survey showed that 63% of people believe the only way they will retire financially independent is if they win the lottery. That means that a majority of people, trainers included believe that their finances are beyond their control.
Trainers who live this way live the life of a victim. I know one trainer, we’ll call him Andy. Andy invested in a boot camp turn key program, a leading program that had brought great success, income and recognition to over 300 personal fitness pros in 9 countries. After the investment Andy decided his area could not support the camp, it would take clients away from his personal training business, he wouldn’t want to wake up that early, his location was not well suited and so on. He was negative, pessimistic and ultimately became worthless in building the program. He made every excuse for why people would not attend his boot camp. As you can imagine the boot camp attendance was way below its potential. He spent his time waiting for conditions to be perfect before his camp could be successful. Ultimately would up scratching his head wondering what happened. Keep in mind that he invested in a program that had been proven for over 10 years, with no records of failure. Andy chose to be a victim of his own accidents and thinking.
The great news is that at any time you can shift from the law of accidents to the law of control. It can start with something as simple as saying to yourself, "This is unacceptable! I hate where I am now (yes hate is a strong word)! I don’t want to be here anymore. I am fully convinced it does not have to be this way. The good news is that if I just think differently the answers are within my reach."
This may sound silly to you, but it’s a start. It’s likely no one has said this to you before. It’s easy to find others to commiserate with your circumstances. It’s rare for someone to give you the words or tools to pull out of where you are to help get you to where you want to be. If what you are doing has not been working as well as you would like, then what do you have to lose by changing your thinking. Ask yourself, what is the evidence I would need to know that I can rise up and no longer live under the law of accidents?
Setting some goals can be a liberating way to leave the law of accidents behind. There is so much power to having clarity about the direction you are headed and it can start with identifying a single goal. Those who set goals achieve more and have more overall happiness – something that eludes many of us.
Identify the areas of your business life where you feel dissatisfied and like there is nothing you can do about it. What one change can you make to put you back in the driver’s seat? Even if it seems radical, identify it as an outcome and determine the steps necessary to regain control. Then resolve to take a step towards doing something about it.
I speak to too many trainers who dissatisfied and are letting their talents be wasted as career opportunities are passed by. How great would it be to apply fruitful consequences to your life that were a result of living with intentionality rather than by accident? How nice would it be to get in a groove and truly enjoy what you do and be rewarded for it? Remember that you are completely responsible for everything that you are and that you become and achieve. In Hebrew the word coincidence does not exist. That means there are no accidents.
Kelli Calabrese, MS is the Master Coach for Be Better Projects. She is also the master trainer for Adventure Boot Camp and IMPACT – Intense Mixed Performance Accelerated Cross Training. For more information go to www.KelliCalabrese.com www.BeBetterAcademy.com