Which Way do I go?

By Kelli Calabrese

On this month’s Platform call Phil and I talked about signs. They are all around us. They are seen the on the road and at sports stadiums, are found in the wisdom of mentors and strangers, are blasted at us by the media and whisper to us from our subconscious. Some of us choose to recklessly ignore signs and let our prefrontal cortex run wild at our expense and others follow every sign with the most precision being crippled by our emotional experiential memory.

It stands to reason that somewhere in the middle would be a healthy place to use as a reference for making life enhancing decisions. But the question becomes, how do you decide what signs to heed, which signs to ignore and which to make a note of caution? Is there even one right choice?

You may be asking yourself; should I open a studio, should I leave the club, should I hire a trainer, open up a second boot camp location or upgrade my equipment? We literally make thousands of decisions a day both big and little about our meals, what to wear, career, vacation, purchases, chores, children, education, workouts, leisure time, etc. When there are two choices before us, how do we know which is best when we have free will and reason to make decisions?

That’s were discernment can be our friend. Discernment is defined as acuteness of judgment; impelling the will towards good or evil and the observance of moral law. Discernment is something we all have and use to make decisions – whether we realize it or not!

There are 5 general principles of discernment that apply to how you respond to a sign and follow through with a decision. I learned these from Peter Kreeft and put a Be Better signature on them. These 5 principles should help you in using discernment to make the best choices for betterment when faced with a sign or decision.

Begin with data, with what we know for sure. Judge the unknown by the known, the uncertain by the certain. We have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of those who have come before us. We have a plethora of data available to us to look for evidence, trends and hard core information to help us make the best decisions based on past facts. Look at industry statistics as a starting guidepost for what to expect. Knowing the average salary of a personal trainer or the number of sessions a personal training clients completes or how many referrals a member refers or what return to expect on a post card campaign, will give you some markers to gauge your expectations and how to exceed them.
Let your heart educate your mind. Once your mind is informed, bring your heart into your decisions. The best trainers as well as doctors, hair stylists, florists, and house keepers, put their heart into decisions. Using analyzed and hard cold data alone would be a mistake. Bring the human factor into the equation and decide by including your emotions and the emotions of those you are affecting. Once you have the data, consider how your clients and prospects would respond. How would your mom react – if she is your ideal client? What are the true needs of your clients as well as yourself?
Have a soft heart but a hard head. We should be as sharp as a fox in thought but loyal as a dog in will and deed. Soft-heartedness does not excuse soft-headedness, and hard-headedness does not excuse hard-heartedness. Do not let your emotions overtake your intelligence. Decisions made in pure emotion almost always lead to disappointment. Situations will arise that you were not trained for such as when a prepaid client gets injured and asks for a refund or a group of teachers approach you to conduct a group training session after school. You’ll need a soft heart but a heard head to make the best decision for you, your business and your clients. This is where your creativity will be forced to grow to come up with agreeable solutions.
All signs should line up. You should be able to (1) cross reference data with your (2) education, with (3) human reason,(4) the appropriateness for the situation, or circumstances, your (5) conscience, which is our innate sense of right and wrong, and finally our(6) individual personal best or desire or instincts, Test your choice by holding it up before the mirror. If all 5 components point in one direction, that is a strong sense of where to focus. If all these five components point in a different direction than is aligned with you, the choice again is clear.
Look for the "ease" in the decision by noticing how the decision makes you feel and by projecting how you predict you will feel in the future. By ease I don’t mean it will be easy, but the decision will bring you love, joy, profitability, abundance, and peace. If you are angry and anxious and worried, you have no reason to choose that option. For example if the thought of leasing space and equipment feels heavy for you rather than exciting, it’s probably not the time to risk opening up a facility.

Discernment becomes easier when you realize the right choice is not filled with worry, fear, fret or anxiousness. but instead brings you peace, clarity, fun and excitement. Think of the difference between writing a love letter to someone who makes your heart pound versus taking a final exam.

Our personality type will weigh in on discerning what is best for us and in that there is no good or bad. Discerning a better choice should in some fashion lead to personal increase. Also realize that we are not going to get it right every time. I can’t name a percentage, but expect that you will discern some poor choices. It doesn’t mean that you are clueless or not worthy. Learn from your choices, make the best of the decision and make better decisions next time. We are not going to find the right answer to every practical problem or know how to act towards every sign.

The curse becomes when you repeat the same mistakes over and over again. The miracle is when things seem to be clearly revealed to you as the right choice. There is not an exact, clear and infallible way to know how to proceed in life but act on the obvious – moving away from what causes pain, suffering and fear and towards what brings great moral fulfillment, prosperity and abundance.

Every great teacher knows that students are made to find some things out for themselves. Personal experience is one of the best teachers. You will come to appreciate using your own judgment weather it brings suffering and uncertainty or fame and fortune.

Each of has the mental and moral power and the abilities to use our talents instead of wasting or burying them. We can rely on initiative, creativity, originality, freedom, and variety. The difference in our decision making is what makes each of use unique. Follow your instincts knowing you’ll never understand everything about them – and have some fun in the process.

You have learned to follow the instincts of your body by eating and drinking and the instincts of your mind through curiosity and logic and your heart through feelings and your six (and seventh) sense. Great relief can be a mark of a good decision. It’s ridiculous and unlivable to strive for perfection.

Often two choices can be good; go to the mountains or the beach, open a studio or hire a trainer for in-home sessions. Each person will write their own story and there will by as many books as there are people. Enjoy which ever path you choose. Betterment is here! Look for the signs!